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anonymous: written
[Maron had been in Luceti for a long while now. For that long while, she had gotten the chance to experience things she'd never imagine at home, mainly the weird stuff that the Malnosso threw at people. She had formed some nice friendships, had a job working to keep her mind from missing Momokuri at Seventh Heaven, and was still keeping her mask on "happy."
However one thing had always been bothering her, even before she was brought to Luceti. It was something that, despite her own beliefs, defended to Masaomi around Christmas, and most recently, that speed dating thing. Sure, she had been there, with the mask on yet again, but what it was designed for...
People had been looking for friendships, people to date, people to love. That love thing was what had weighed heavily on her mind; it always had, though she was good at squashing the though, pushing it down because it wasn't real. It couldn't be. But why would people seek it out, why would there be people looking for it here of all places? Where someone they care about could be taken from them at any moment, seemingly sent home by the Malnosso (or some glitch that they'd overlooked for how long now?) The idea honestly baffled Maron, not one for too many close connections, save for two people over the years: Fin and Miyako.
Because of this curiosity, this need to know why people sought out something so elusive, something that she didn't believe to even exist--
She decides to ask. However, people might think it weird that someone doesn't know what the emotion of love is, or doesn't believe it exists depending on the person. So, she throws part of her bedsheet over the camera, effectively blocking out who is writing, and definitely makes sure the microphone is off-- it'll definitely be staying there. Her handwriting is nondescript (at least she tries to make it so) as to not give her identity away. Anyone can hazard a guess, though she'll have to be pretty damn comfortable to reveal herself to someone.]
What is your definition of 'love'? What do you believe it is, and why is it important to you?
However one thing had always been bothering her, even before she was brought to Luceti. It was something that, despite her own beliefs, defended to Masaomi around Christmas, and most recently, that speed dating thing. Sure, she had been there, with the mask on yet again, but what it was designed for...
People had been looking for friendships, people to date, people to love. That love thing was what had weighed heavily on her mind; it always had, though she was good at squashing the though, pushing it down because it wasn't real. It couldn't be. But why would people seek it out, why would there be people looking for it here of all places? Where someone they care about could be taken from them at any moment, seemingly sent home by the Malnosso (or some glitch that they'd overlooked for how long now?) The idea honestly baffled Maron, not one for too many close connections, save for two people over the years: Fin and Miyako.
Because of this curiosity, this need to know why people sought out something so elusive, something that she didn't believe to even exist--
She decides to ask. However, people might think it weird that someone doesn't know what the emotion of love is, or doesn't believe it exists depending on the person. So, she throws part of her bedsheet over the camera, effectively blocking out who is writing, and definitely makes sure the microphone is off-- it'll definitely be staying there. Her handwriting is nondescript (at least she tries to make it so) as to not give her identity away. Anyone can hazard a guess, though she'll have to be pretty damn comfortable to reveal herself to someone.]
What is your definition of 'love'? What do you believe it is, and why is it important to you?
written/anonymous
[But she'll pause to mull over his view of love being an illness.]
Right. But you don't have to be fixated on just one thing, I don't see why you'd want to just... forget about everything else and stay focused on one person. That seems kind of... lonely.
Hm... I guess that makes sense too. But you don't necessarily have to give things up, or sacrifice things, right?
written
I guess that means we're friends. However, she also doesn't trust me? The stark truth is always easier anonymously. Then again, "don't trust" doesn't have to mean "distrust." If trust is hard, that makes sense.']
Well, thanks, I guess.
Anyway, you don't want to have most mental illnesses, right? But it might happen either way. As far as I know, that's the point. Or part of the point. Same thing with giving things up. Doing one thing always means giving up on another... but nothing's necessarily true about it except having another person, right?
...Like I said, I guess I don't really know any more than you. If it's anything like other big things, talking about it isn't anything like actually doing it.
written/anonymous
I guess you're right, though. I don't know if there's things I could give up even if I were asked, but... I guess some sort of sacrifice isn't bad, depending on what it is.
[There's a pause while reading that last part though. Colour her surprised.]
You haven't had any experience in that field? Most people I know have said that they've been in love a few times! And you haven't? I don't know if I can believe that.
written/anonymous
Well, if you want to talk about that, you'd better come up and talk about it, since I'm not sure it's fit for public messaging with Anony-chan.
...just one moment while she processes that request.
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Oh gosh this was bad. This was very, very bad. Especially since she had said "Yeah you're cute" to him THAT MADE IT WORSE.
There will be a few minutes of her freaking out in her room; lucky for her there's only one person on her floor and Kyon is 4 up from hers.]
written/anonymous
But it is.]
What do you mean "come up and talk about it"?
written/anonymous
I'll still hedge a little.']
Come upstairs and talk. I don't mind.
written/anonymous
Her handwriting is still shaky, and she doubts she'll be getting it under control any time soon even if she tries (which she still is)]
I don't know where you live. I only know you, that's it.
[Maron feels bad for lying. Really, she does. But right now she's unsure she can extend her trust a little more to him. While waiting for Kyon's reply there will be a lot of thought on that.]
written/anonymous
...Maybe. I mean, it wouldn't be anything new. But on the other hand, there's that hesitation. And that handwriting. No, I definitely hit on something.']
I see. Well, I guess we could keep it here, if you know how to make a halfway-decent filter.
action
It'll be awkward as hell, though. But there's at least some comfort around him, so there's that.
So after some psyching herself up, Maron leaves her room and makes the trek up the stairs slowly, finally reaching the fifth floor after what seems to be forever. She hesitates once she hits the plateau, trying to decide after all this if she just wants to book it back down the stairs or if she should knock on his door.
After a deep breath and a mental kick in the butt, Maron moves forward to Kyon's door, giving a quick knock on it, and then she moves to put her back against the wall next to the door, taking in abreath and holding it.
Maybe he wouldn't look out around his door.]
action
It takes him a second to realize what it is, as unusual as it is to have visitors, or at least ones he doesn't see coming. Then he figures who it must be. He gets up and opens the door.
...And doesn't see anyone. Huh.
He waits a second or two.]
Uh... Anyone there?
action | god Kyon, such a stalker
So she exhales and finally speaks up, not coming out of hiding, so to speak.]
How did you know it was me?
action | IT'S ALL HE HAS TO DO OK
Just kind of sounded like you, I guess. The tone and everything. Not the handwriting, I wouldn't recognize that anyway.
...Do you want to come in?
action | stop being a hikikomori 8|
...yeah, I guess. Thanks.
[But even when she turns to go inside, nope not looking at him. Maron will be the one to make it awkward for herself about this.]
action | maybe you should drag him out
Next time, you can start cursing or something, you know? Just something uncharacteristic. But if you pick that now, I'll know too, so...
[ Fine, he'll turn away as not to observe her embarrassment. He'll sit down in his chair and let her take her choice of seat. ]
action | it'll happen at some point i'm sure.
[Sigh.
Maron will flop herself down across from him, thinking about everything as she does so.]
You said you didn't want to talk about stuff over the journals, so... here I am. I didn't think I was going to be talking to anyone face to face about any of this, so it's a little weird.
action
['Still trying to lighten the mood here.']
Right. Well... Honestly, I guess it's pretty weird for me face to face, too, but it used to be even more awkward before. I guess this is one thing I can say I've gotten better at talking about in the last... two years or so.
action
...talk about all this love stuff, or just in general talking to people?
action
...And if you had to stop yourself from saying something like that, you probably were giving away more subtle things, right?
[Cough.] Love stuff, I mean. I don't really have trouble talking to people, but it can be a lot of trouble. ['Wait.'] I mean, a lot of bother.
action
[So love is trouble-- oh, no, it was retracted.]
Well I can't promise I'd be able to help with any of that, but I'll listen. Guess it means you have some sort of trust in me to be talking to me about it?
action
[And then the rest of it. Well, he's not sure exactly of what to say, but it's true he's more secure than at any other point in his life about this, and it's mostly driven by a crash-and-burn experience.]
Well, yeah. I trust you with my secret thief identity, right? This is a small matter as to that.
['Sigh. Not as comfortable as it seems, since my words are as limp as a ten-year-old tapeworm!']
Anyway, what I was going to say is that... Yeah. I'm not convinced I've ever been in love. Not in any way that I could say openly that there's someone that I can declare anything for. If there's any situation where it's been half-true, there's always been other obstacles in the way.
Does that make any sense?
action
[Maron still gives it good thought though, before nodding slowly.]
It makes sense, I think. I don't think I've ever really known it though, so you're more knowledgable than I am on this whole thing even if you've never had the whole experience.
action
So that's what I mean. I guess it's not love if it's not something you can actually pursue, right? Or maybe it is, but it really doesn't matter if you can't do anything about it.
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actionaction; hi i've been on hiatus and this comment makes me ship these two. damn it Linton! o9"