windofgod: (depressed)
Kusakabe Maron ([personal profile] windofgod) wrote2013-07-30 12:19 am

anonymous: written

[Maron had been in Luceti for a long while now. For that long while, she had gotten the chance to experience things she'd never imagine at home, mainly the weird stuff that the Malnosso threw at people. She had formed some nice friendships, had a job working to keep her mind from missing Momokuri at Seventh Heaven, and was still keeping her mask on "happy."

However one thing had always been bothering her, even before she was brought to Luceti. It was something that, despite her own beliefs, defended to Masaomi around Christmas, and most recently, that speed dating thing. Sure, she had been there, with the mask on yet again, but what it was designed for...

People had been looking for friendships, people to date, people to love. That love thing was what had weighed heavily on her mind; it always had, though she was good at squashing the though, pushing it down because it wasn't real. It couldn't be. But why would people seek it out, why would there be people looking for it here of all places? Where someone they care about could be taken from them at any moment, seemingly sent home by the Malnosso (or some glitch that they'd overlooked for how long now?) The idea honestly baffled Maron, not one for too many close connections, save for two people over the years: Fin and Miyako.

Because of this curiosity, this need to know why people sought out something so elusive, something that she didn't believe to even exist--

She decides to ask. However, people might think it weird that someone doesn't know what the emotion of love is, or doesn't believe it exists depending on the person. So, she throws part of her bedsheet over the camera, effectively blocking out who is writing, and definitely makes sure the microphone is off-- it'll definitely be staying there. Her handwriting is nondescript (at least she tries to make it so) as to not give her identity away. Anyone can hazard a guess, though she'll have to be pretty damn comfortable to reveal herself to someone.]


What is your definition of 'love'? What do you believe it is, and why is it important to you?
menial: (% don't think so)

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[personal profile] menial 2013-08-25 03:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Sure, but it showed that you knew me. And some people still call me by other names.

...And if you had to stop yourself from saying something like that, you probably were giving away more subtle things, right?

[Cough.] Love stuff, I mean. I don't really have trouble talking to people, but it can be a lot of trouble. ['Wait.'] I mean, a lot of bother.
menial: (% head on hand)

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[personal profile] menial 2013-08-26 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
[He chuckles a little at the first part.] Guess so.

[And then the rest of it. Well, he's not sure exactly of what to say, but it's true he's more secure than at any other point in his life about this, and it's mostly driven by a crash-and-burn experience.]

Well, yeah. I trust you with my secret thief identity, right? This is a small matter as to that.

['Sigh. Not as comfortable as it seems, since my words are as limp as a ten-year-old tapeworm!']

Anyway, what I was going to say is that... Yeah. I'm not convinced I've ever been in love. Not in any way that I could say openly that there's someone that I can declare anything for. If there's any situation where it's been half-true, there's always been other obstacles in the way.

Does that make any sense?
menial: (% yeah yeah.)

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[personal profile] menial 2013-08-26 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
A wide variety of obstacles. Ranging from another guy to... social pressure, I guess, to -- incurable weirdness. I've seen lots of reasons like that. Especially around here, sudden disappearance will do the trick, too.

So that's what I mean. I guess it's not love if it's not something you can actually pursue, right? Or maybe it is, but it really doesn't matter if you can't do anything about it.
menial: (& eyebrow quirk)

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[personal profile] menial 2013-08-27 01:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, you're right about that. ['Haruhi.']

...And I guess that's how it usually starts. Not every mutual attraction [He hesitates a little] gets off the ground that way, though. It's not a recipe or anything... There's always other things in the way, right? That's why it's something you can't really force on yourself until you feel like something's wrong without it... or something like that.
menial: (* life never changes)

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[personal profile] menial 2013-08-29 03:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, some people would say that it's a kind of love, right? Some people have broader definitions and find it easier to say that it's true for multiple people like that.

...I know for sure under that definition, there are people that fit for me. But if you talk about it the way people define it, well, it could end up being anything. I just know that as far as romantic goes, even if it's had some of the right ingredients, it's never anything I could've said was settled. It's complicated. Personal relationships are complicated. Who or what a person is to you can be a lot of things.

['What am I even saying? Am I just repeating myself?']
menial: (* affection)

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[personal profile] menial 2013-09-03 04:54 am (UTC)(link)
['At first, I thought that question was going somewhere else...']

Well, maybe you just can't understand it at all because you've never focused on it or read manga about it or tried it yourself. You know? I figure most people pick up the obsession with it just because it's portrayed as the part of the victory condition in everything that people read. Maybe you just missed it. It's not a big deal if you did, though. Maybe there's nothing you're really missing out on after all. [He laughs a little awkwardly.] And if you do change your mind, you're cute enough that you'd be able to get whoever you want.

[He shrugs. Pauses for a second. Then fills the slightly awkward silence by tossing his pillow at her.]

But if you still want it, all yours.
menial: (& uhh sure!)

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[personal profile] menial 2013-09-03 03:05 pm (UTC)(link)
['See, at least you're not immune to being embarrassed.

...Look, if you can do it, so can I.'


He rolls his eyes a little, out of a desire to keep things at least somewhat normal, or to pretend that it's all standard operating practice, anyway. After a minute or two, he adds:]


I think you have to press harder if you're going to smother yourself.
menial: (* not looking I swear)

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[personal profile] menial 2013-09-09 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
['I wasn't trying to make it that much more awkward...

I don't know what I was trying to get at though, to be honest! Don't I? This probably isn't a good moment to enter a huge phase of introspection, though. Well, let's not think about it! The fact is that... I can't tell what she's thinking. Maybe she just wishes I didn't say that. Probably... Ahem.'
]


R-Right, so how have you been lately anyway?
menial: (no more than usual)

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[personal profile] menial 2013-09-15 07:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I guess you could say it's my fault for just being too brilliant.

[ he laughs a little. ]

Seventh Heaven, huh? I haven't stopped by there in a while. Not as many people to go eat with recently, maybe? Or dinners. You know, the longer I stick around, the harder it is to feel like meeting New Feathers is a new thing. It's like it's always the same drill. But people keep disappearing, so...

[ He shrugs. ]
menial: (& blank blank)

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[personal profile] menial 2013-10-05 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
...T-That's kind of you, Maron-chan. Maybe not yet... I'm not sure I can handle it just yet.

[ he shrugs. ]

We're not really cheering anyone up by being glad to leave, huh? Well, maybe you and I should just get dinner more often.